Is it worth it?

The other day while filing my taxes I had to sift through expenses and calculate how much was spent and what category the expenses fell into, such as office equipment or supply.  As I'm painstakingly doing this and rechecking myself, my tax preparer asked the question, "Is it worth it?"

If you take into consideration the paint, canvas and other supplies I have collected over the years to satisfy my need to create, I have spent a fair amount of money.  Although I have sold some paintings, I rarely make enough in profits to call it square.  I have a job as an online English teacher and I work part-time for our local community college to support myself and my family.  I do my art and my writing on the side. So, why do I continue, is it worth it?  My answer to this question will always be yes. I play around with other types of creative avenues such as writing and recently photography, but I have always come back to painting, particularly oil painting.  Art is more than just slapping paint on a canvas, it is a process that allows me to pour myself into every aspect of it.  When I am angry, my paintings are choppy and rough, the images that emerge, reflect my emotional turmoil at the time.  If I am deeply saddened by the world or life, I can feed my tears to the cerulean abyss and mix in just enough titanium to give the image hope for a better day.  On the contrary, when I am happy or at peace, I can spend days or weeks fidgeting over a canvas trying to get every little detail just the way I imagined it.  Either way, my art reflects me because I give a part of myself to each piece, my heartache, hopes, tears and fears.  So, my art will always be worth it, even if I don’t succeed in selling every piece.  I may never become a famous artist, but I have a creative mind and a creative mind needs an outlet to be whole.  This is what my art means to me and why it will always be worth it. 

What about you? Is it worth it?